Have you seen the film Le Weekend (said in a spot-on Parisien accent acquired after three months of living there)? Brilliant movie.
Just the right balance of philosophy, drama and reality. Moral of the movie: when you find someone you really fit with and become partners for life, years will pass without you noticing what you ‘missed’ because you were so busy being compelled and enthralled by their presence. That is, commitment and monogamy are natural tendencies when you find the person who you really gosh darn love (and who gosh darn loves you back).
I don’t want to spoil the movie for you so I am going to move on to other examples. Here is where I dedicate a portion of this blog to my sweet friend Anja. Anja’s getting married this Saturday…
Just over a year ago she and I were chatting over a glass of orange juice (one each — the cheapest thing on the menu) about future husbands. I asked her, or at least I think I did, ‘You never complain about being single or gush about guys. How can you be so calm when old age is upon us and spinstership is looming?’
In her usual gentle and confident style she said: ‘I really want to get married, but I am waiting on the Lord to bring the right man into my life.’ (or something along those lines)
BOOM!!!!! Less than three months later there he was. God had sent him. A male version of Anja. A Godsend.com special delivery. A man no free online site or singles Meet-up or napkin-soaking whine or desperate flirt could have found. Just the one for Anja who found her waiting. How gorgeous is that? Anja my dear, I am so glad we had that conversation and I am pleased to be witnessing your marriage on Saturday.
So those are two people who recently found each other and are about to embark on a life together.
Back to the other end of the life line, a gorgeous older couple that were together until death did part them (though still not as long as my parents have been married — which put a lot into perspective for me). The older folks’ names are Danny and Annie and I listened to their story courtesy StoryCorps on Youtube.
Here’s a snippet: ‘In my mind and my heart there has never been, there is not now, and will never be another Annie.’ He wrote her love letters and told her he loved her every day.
These stories existed and they will continue to exist. The narrative goes as such: a person walks into your life and shatters all of your barriers and limits and breaks down all your defences. A person walks into your life and everyone else becomes a little blurry. A person walks into your life and from that moment on love grows, organically.
I won’t say much more. You should really watch this video:
In conclusion — well there really is no conclusion when it comes to love theory — my take on monogamous love is that you can’t force it to happen and you can’t stop it when it does happen. If there isn’t someone in your life that fits you like Underarmour then that’s okay, because monogamy is a task when it isn’t with the right person at the right time in your life. If there is someone in your life like that, then I don’t need to tell you anything, you already know who it is. Just let it be beautiful.
Here’s to long-lasting monogamic relationships. Here’s to marriage — because that takes a bit more courage. Here’s to long-suffering, which when used in the bible does not mean having a horribly difficult time struggling, but being patient, slow to anger and passion, opposed to haste and irritability and in the simplest explanation possible, in sync with God’s designs for love and will for your life.
Love. It never gets old even when we do.
What’s your experience?