addicted

‘I know that the feelings and thoughts of inadequacy that have plagued me my whole life, starting in high school, have NEVER trumped how grateful I am to be Bianca, the girl who was once asked why she always tries to be different, the girl whose answer to that was that she doesn’t try at all, she tries not to be sometimes but just gives up because she fails miserably. I know that the pride I feel in being ‘loved’ on social media is trumped by my desire to not rub my blessings in the face of the many out there who at that moment don’t have what I have and my desire to be a light that shines on the path, so that people can follow the way of the truth, rather than being a harsh, bright spotlight that shines on myself and leaves others in my shadow. My desire to show my life as amazing is always trumped by my desire to be vulnerable and share the whole truth, which I’ve seen countless times is not popular on social media — social media inhibits true vulnerability rather than encourages it…’ Continue reading addicted

mindblown

What ‘Immeasurably More’ Looked Like to Me: My Birth Story

I wrote a blog about being pregnant and overdue and expressed the great vulnerability I felt being in this position. I mentioned in that blog that it was meant to be proof of my prayers and pleas to God and testimony to the faithfulness the AWESOMENESS of my God and that He would truly come through for me. I promised I would share it with you when He did! Continue reading “mindblown”

overdue

Facing The Struggle in the Waiting

It’s so HARD to live by faith. I need to SEE things. I need to KNOW things. I need to PLAN things. And I try, oh boy do I try. I try really hard! But nothing ever goes exactly as I plan and I always end up falling into the arms of Jesus and pleading for his help and comfort.

WhatsApp Image 2018-08-07 at 10.55.56

As I write this I am two days over my due date. I am pregnant and awaiting my child’s birth but there is no sure sign that she will come today, tomorrow or the next day. It is intensely frustrating. I can’t bring on my labour. I can’t plan my days in advance because labour can come on at any moment. Continue reading “overdue”